Dreams

You know how, when you're young, you have dreams of becoming various different people? Like, you see a cowboy on TV, and you say, "Hey, that looks like fun! I want to be a cowboy!" Or you watch a movie, and say, "She's beautiful, I'm going to be a princess." When you're a kid, anything is possible.
But then you grow up. And that's when things start to change.
You realize that some things can only be dreams; they won't become a reality.
And that sucks.
I know I've had dreams of working in many different professions, starting at a teacher when I was in kindergarten, then learning that being a teacher would suck. From then I learned of jobs that could get me good money from my parents, like an accountant, an architect. Our family went to SeaWorld in San Diego a few years ago and that's when my sister and I decided to become animal trainers, haha...Needless to say, that hasn't happened yet.
Even now, I really want to become a singer, like Kelly Clarkson or a bunch of YouTubers I'm subscribed to. I often dream of starring in a movie, on TV or on the big screen. It's weird, but sometimes I make up a new role in a movie and insert myself in it, figuring out where I would make my first appearance, and so on. I love daydreaming about these kinds of things. And I'd love for them to be a reality.
The problem with my dreams, though, is that I don't chase them. I end up chickening out, my bravery fizzling out, not knowing where to start. I see all of these singers and actors, and think, "They make it look so easy."
I also realize that these celebrities we hold in high esteem have a certain look to them: usually skinny, tall, beautiful, handsome...and white or partially white. (And by "white," I mean Caucasian.)
I am not Canadian, ethnically. Culturally, I consider myself to be Canadian. My parents are Korean, and that is my background, but I was born and raised in Canada: I am Canadian. That's how I identify myself. But no one else sees it like that, except for my family and closer friends.
I feel that, because of my ethnicity, going out to an audition wouldn't be worth it, because I know I wouldn't get any farther than that, the audition.
Of course, I know that most celebrities don't hit fame instantly, but it looks that way. They have the look, they have the talent, they know the right people.
That's usually what it takes to make it big, isn't it?

Let me know in the comments what your dreams of the past and of the present are. I look forward to reading them.

Love.

Another accident

Two blog posts in one day. Must be a record.
But, I needed to vent, and my journal's too far away: I'm lazy, as well all have already noted.

I put a dent into someone's car yesterday, backing out of the driveway. Problem is, we didn't change information, I didn't tell my parents, and it's phone tag between my mom and the girl who's car I dented thus far.
I honestly didn't think this would be a big deal...But apparently it is.
Another problem: I don't think either of us have ever been put into this kind of situation, so she didn't know what to do and I didn't know what to do. So that's why we didn't exchange information. At least, I'm hoping this is the reason.
Now I feel terrible, because my parents are disappointed in me, again, which sucks because I'm Asian and Asian disappointment is like an invisible slap in the face. Or a round-house kick, whichever you think is worse. I think either, because I've only ever been spanked as a child, and I'm sure it would hurt like a mofo.
I didn't start crying until I buckled down and began reading my Statistics textbook, which I hoped wouldn't happen...the crying part, not the reading my textbook part. It's good that I'm reading, because I'm about 10 chapters behind; the course is boring as hell. I'm digressing: I'm freaking out once again, checking my bank account for money that isn't going to appear any time soon (or so it seems: I'm waiting for money from StudentAid BC to come in, which hasn't so far), going on Facebook and trying to figure out anything about the person who says she owns the car (she's a friend of the neighbour's, which is awkward), and now this.
In all honesty, I was hoping she wouldn't contact me, so I wouldn't have to worry about it. But now, hah, I have to worry about it. I guess she talked to her parents too, to figure out what to do, and now she is going to have to talk to my parents because I don't own any of the cars that we drive.
Sometimes I wish I had my own car, just so I could take responsibility for the accidents I've been in already, but the likelihood of that happening anytime soon is below zero.
I've also thought about not driving for a year or so, and getting my full license in two years instead of getting it this year (because, technically, I could book an appointment now for my full license exam).

OK, I had to go for half an hour or so: my mom just explained to me what happens when I get into an accident and what I need to do. It all makes sense, and now I know what to do...I just need to remember it all.
Basically, it all just boils down to calling 911 (if me or other person(s) involved is injured), getting the other person's information (driver's license number, model and make of the car, and telephone number), giving my information to the other person, and calling the insurance company. Simple enough, right? I should hope so.

Anyway, I'm out for the night. Hopefully I'll finish the chapter to my Statistics book...

Love.

Colour

It's been a while.

So, in church, my pastor said something about how "colour" etc doesn't matter in the eyes of God. Which is true (for all those who don't think this way), but for some reason, his use of the word "colour" really bothered me.
Why couldn't he use the word "race" or "ethnic background"? Because I don't think he wanted to alienate people with "colour" in their skin, and yet he did anyway, because I felt alienated.
Also, the word "colour" means something other than a shade (white, grey, black), even though we consider black people coloured. So, basically, he's talking about everyone else other than white people? Which basically means his referring to "colour"ed people are brown and yellow, right? Red people? Purple people? Ugh, this is a weird subject.
This probably crosses a line somewhere, and I'm sorry if you find offence to this. But this is my blog, and I needed to write something about it.
Please let me know what you think in a comment down below. 

The News...?

So, blogspot has changed its layout. That's cool. Thanks for letting me know.
Then again, it's probably my fault, since I haven't been on this site, my blog, in a very long time...Anywho.
Summer was awesome: I had the first couple months just chilling, re-cooping from that disastrous spring semester, and then July and August were spent at camp! It was a lot of fun, got to meet new campers and new staff, and we had a blast. I miss everyone a lot, and summer can't come fast enough.
And then school started up. I think I'll be ok...So far, I don't like one of my classes (Statistics: Intro to. The prof seems to think that we know all about the subject, and I think he's skipping vital parts of teaching us certain things, so I hope I don't die...), but what can I do? I usually commit to the classes I register in the first time around, so we'll see. The other two, Economics and Earth Science, are a lot of fun. Yes, I know you see Economics for the second time around, but it's with a different professor and his teaching style is a lot different from the other prof, and a lot more fun. Plus, I can understand him when he talks, which is VERY important. And then Earth Science is just interesting. It's awesome seeing a prof who's passionate about what they teach, and gets excited when talking about certain subjects. At least, I find it really cool.
This weekend, I'll be seeing a friend for lunch. She's coming from Victoria, and it'll be fun. Talking and walking around the mall. Yes. It will be awesome.
And then the weekend after, I'll be visiting the camp I worked at this summer. There's quite a few more people this year than last year, because there are a few interns doing an internship there. And it seems that they get bored. I'll shake things up a little ;)
The job situation is still dire, but I'm managing...kindof. I still need to pay for my tuition this semester, and the funds seem to be coming in really slowly. Time to hit up the 'rents for some help :\
Hope all of you are doing well, and I'll see you next time.
Love!

Again. And Again.

I know. It's been a while. I'm sorry. I've just had a lot to deal with the past month or so.
I got into a car accident on April 17th. It wasn't serious, all the people involved weren't injured, just sore the next day, but the car that I was driving got totalled.  We had to buy a new family car before my mom left for Los Angeles in a few days, so that was very stressful for my mom and for the rest of the family. I was in shock and cried for about three days straight...As a result of the accident, however, our family got into a major fight. Like, my dad walked to his semi-truck in the middle of the night kind of fight. And all of this happened on the eve of my final exams at university. It sucked. I guess we're all kind of over it now. It was my first accident ever, after having my license for about a year and a half, and I didn't think I would get into an accident. But I did. That's the worst, thinking that you'll "never" do something, but then you do that something...I don't even know what else to say about that.
Then finals rolled around. I thought I did ok. Until I got my final marks for my classes. I got 1 C+, 2 Cs, and a D. Not my best semester. Actually, my worst report card ever in the history of my report cards. My GPA also fell 1.3 points, so I was hysterical once again. A couple days after I found out my final marks, I got an email from my university, saying that I could be On Academic Probation (OAP) if I had another semester like this last one.
Even before the semester ended, I knew I wanted to take a break from school, whether it be a semester or a year. Right now, I'm planning on working this summer, and in the fall: not going to school until the spring, which is when I would like to go on a study-abroad trip with my friend. I'd have to fill out the application though, so I'll have to get on that soon.
Anyway. That's what's been up with me. Hopefully you appreciate me spilling my guts out to you, and maybe helping you realize that you might not have had it the worst.
Love.

Pandas and Smiling and Dying

Weird title, but whatevs.
Hope y'all are doing well. Not much has been happening with me. Totally skipping school at least one day a week, but I'm going to school, and *cough* learning and studying hard *cough* I've had really busy weekends these past couple weeks, but now, I'm resting and "trying" to study for most Economics and History. Econ should die. Srsly.
On another note, semi-jealous of my sister who will not be having school Monday-Thursday because of this stupid teachers' strike. Did I mention that she also starts Spring Break the following week? Yeah. She's basically getting a three week break for the springtime, and I am choked. I could just skip school and be with her? XD
Drop me a comment telling me how you are!
Until later <3

V Day

I know, I know, it's a couple days late, but you know what? Valentine's Day is every day, so suck it!
No, but in all seriousness, I think it's a good day, even though we should be lovin' on each other every day of the year for the rest of our lives.
There's all this "Single's Awareness Day" and "Couples' Day" and whatever, but no one really ever looks at the simple side of Valentine's Day, that it's all about love.
But, I'm not about to get into all of that. Today, I will be giving you a history lesson, and if you don't like it, leave. Bye!


Hokai, for all you who do like history a little, here are some facts:
There were many different Christian martyrs named Valentine, such as Valentine of Rome, who was a priest, and Valentine of Terni, who was a bishop. (So, there were a lot of Valentines.) As you can see, there were no romantic elements within these martyrs, until the 14th century, where a Saint Valentine became linked to romance. The earlier Valentines, of Rome and of Terni, were forgotten. There was also a feast day on the 14th, but it was removed in 1969 because of the unknownness of why they feasted Saint Valentine's death and burial.


No love at all. I'd go into how this love and romantic-ness came about, but I'm tired, and I kinda want to go to bed. Maybe next year I'll comment more on this Valentine's Day. We shall see.


I hope all of you had a great V Day though, shared love with your family and friends, and hopefully did something memorable :)


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