Hello

It has been about five years since my last post, and I kinda wanted to shout into the void in a longer format.

A lot has happened in five years and yet I don’t know how to quantify or qualify any of it.

I worked a job that broke my body.

I had sex for the first time.

Covid-19 happened.

I got kicked out of the house by my dad for the stupidest reason.

I moved into an apartment with my sister and her friend.

I worked another job that was decent until lockdown was lifted, and then the pay decreased significantly.

I got US citizenship.

I did therapy.

My sister and I moved back to Canada.

I got a job at the biggest coffee company in the world.

I got out of a depression that lasted about four years.

My sister’s and my relationship got better.

I travelled overseas for the first time.

I tried therapy again.

I got high for the first time.

I started feeling depressed again, and I have a negative outlook on everything, stemming from my work environment.

Overall, I know this terrible feeling is going to go away, but I have to sit in it right now and let it pass which is the worst part of this moment in my life. I feel like the mountains don’t feel as high as when the valleys feel so low. Why do the bad things feel so much worse than the good things feeling good? And the good moments feel so quick; the bad times feel like forever.