I got into a conversation with a couple school people about travelling. Previously, we talked about Asian dramas and music and movies, because one of the girls was from Hong Kong, and the other was from Romania but loved everything Asian. One had lived in the Philippines and Hong Kong for many years, and she travelled to Japan and Korea. The Romanian girl asked me if I had been to Korea an hour or so before, and I told her no, because our family didn't really have a reason to go there. (Also because we didn't ever have the money to go.)
But when the girl said she had been to Korea before, the Romanian pointed and laughed at me, saying that the Korean girl hadn't gone to Korea before but the Hong Kongese girl had.
For some reason I felt very hurt by this.
One, I was born in Canada. I hadn't had the desire to go to Korea when I was younger, neither did the rest of my family, so we didn't go. We were also estranged from our extended family in Korea, so why would we go, just to be shunned away?
Two, how could this girl I just met today make fun of me in such a way as to say that I'm not Asian? That's what I felt was implied anyway...She's from Europe, and she has the audacity to make fun of someone who is native to Canada but has the ethnicity of an Oriental? What about herself? She's European, who loves KPop, and she hasn't been to Korea. WHAT??
Three, I want to go to Korea now. As long as I have the desire to do something that I didn't do in the past, or couldn't do, that's good enough, right?
Four. I started thinking about how humans can be very insensitive to people. How I lose faith in humanity just about every day because of some stupid things people do. That Romanian girl made me cringe, because there are probably a million other people in the world just like her.
And then I started thinking that I was probably like this, and maybe still am like this, insensitive to other people's needs. And how I need to change that.
I said at least one post every week, but school is an excuse I use every time, and it's the truth. It's 1 AM right now, and I still need to finish reading for my English class. Instead I'm here, writing a blog post. My brain is going to turn into mush soon...I need to finish reading.
Love.
Wednesday 30 January 2013
Thursday 17 January 2013
School
So far, it's going well. I'm enjoying it, even though a couple days a week, I come home close to 8 PM.
I'm taking 2 English classes and 2 French classes, working on my double minor now since I finished all of my university requirements.
One of my classes is online, and it's a little weird, because we have group discussions...online. On a thread. There's also the fact that I have to submit all of the assignments on my own time, and make sure I get them done...I don't like being an adult D: (Hey, another blog topic idea, haha.)
I will say I'm a bit worried. I haven't written an English paper in a really long time...I hope it all comes back to me fast/the people that mark my work don't have high expectations. I also haven't spoken/wrote French in a year and a half, so I am very rusty. I keep stumbling in my French during class, and it's embarrassing.
That's basically it. I'm trying to keep afloat with all the reading and worksheets and essays and such. It's going to get difficult, but I hope to keep writing a post every week.
My sister is taking the semester off of school; she didn't particularly enjoy the fall, so she's "working"...which means hanging out around the house. Which is good for her, I think. She hasn't been sleeping well for the longest time, so she needs the rest. Mom doesn't agree.
Anyway, how are you guys doing?
Love.
I'm taking 2 English classes and 2 French classes, working on my double minor now since I finished all of my university requirements.
One of my classes is online, and it's a little weird, because we have group discussions...online. On a thread. There's also the fact that I have to submit all of the assignments on my own time, and make sure I get them done...I don't like being an adult D: (Hey, another blog topic idea, haha.)
I will say I'm a bit worried. I haven't written an English paper in a really long time...I hope it all comes back to me fast/the people that mark my work don't have high expectations. I also haven't spoken/wrote French in a year and a half, so I am very rusty. I keep stumbling in my French during class, and it's embarrassing.
That's basically it. I'm trying to keep afloat with all the reading and worksheets and essays and such. It's going to get difficult, but I hope to keep writing a post every week.
My sister is taking the semester off of school; she didn't particularly enjoy the fall, so she's "working"...which means hanging out around the house. Which is good for her, I think. She hasn't been sleeping well for the longest time, so she needs the rest. Mom doesn't agree.
Anyway, how are you guys doing?
Love.
Saturday 12 January 2013
Evolutionism vs Creationism
Sorry if my last post dragged you all down. I just wanted to get what I was feeling out of my system, and this blog seems to do that for me, although I don't think I have many readers. That's ok. My semi-private journal, even though it's on the internet, which isn't private at all. And I seem to be the only one that knows about it, which might not be the case, but whatever. I don't know you who's reading it, and you're not showing yourself. So I suppose it'll stay that way.
Now, onto the real topic.
I meant to write this post before the beginning of the semester, but I didn't, so I'm doing it now. I wanted to tell you guys about my Earth Science class I took in the fall semester, my favourite class of my university career (side note, why do we call it a "career"? Does that make sense at all? I dunno, it doesn't to me), from my current school. I'd have to say that Math at the first university I went to was my favourite from there, because my teacher looked like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, but also because I made a lot of friends in the class and we had fun. (I've only been to two universities, so that should make things a little simpler.)
Anyway, as you might've noticed from my previous post(s), I am a Christian. I believe in having a good and strong relationship with God, and in turn, I believe in creationism. There are a lot of people that don't, and that's fine to not agree with my beliefs, but that's how the world goes round. Don't take offence to my opinions and beliefs; if you do, click away.
I think I'm one of the more reformed creationists though. Like, a lot of Christians think that it's just the seven days of creation, and that's it, there's nothing else to add on or take away from what it says in the first book of the Bible. I don't. I think that there are aspects of what science has discovered in the world, through the animals and the earth and so on, and aspects of creationism that go hand in hand. This is what I learned from my Earth Science class.
I also want to mention that I took an archaeology course in my second year at university, at the school I transferred to. This class made me not so on board with evolution, only because this class was all about human origins, and how we descended from monkeys; that was the premise, it seemed. The Earth Science class, however, made me see evolution from a different stand point, and it made more sense in my mind.
Here's what I think: I think that God created light and dark, and it was probably like that for millions of years. (I'd put in exact numbers and so on, except that it's already been a month since I last took the class; I forget easily, especially when it has to do with school.) Then the sun and planets were formed. Of course, science gets all science-y and says that gravity attracted particles from space, causing a compaction of all these particles which became a gas. And then the rest of the particles formed the planets in our solar system. Then this is when God became creative and started focusing on Earth and its inhabitants.
Now, I'm not going to go into the entirety of the creation story, since that would make this post even longer than it has already become. But I don't think that God took seven, what we consider now, days. To God, time doesn't matter...One day could be a thousand years, and a thousand years could be a day, and so on. He's our creator, and he can take all the time he wants. For this reason, Earth and the solar system is a lot older than Christians might come to believe. It's not just seven days. It's a lot of time. Billions and billions of years.
Love.
Now, onto the real topic.
I meant to write this post before the beginning of the semester, but I didn't, so I'm doing it now. I wanted to tell you guys about my Earth Science class I took in the fall semester, my favourite class of my university career (side note, why do we call it a "career"? Does that make sense at all? I dunno, it doesn't to me), from my current school. I'd have to say that Math at the first university I went to was my favourite from there, because my teacher looked like Sheldon Cooper from The Big Bang Theory, but also because I made a lot of friends in the class and we had fun. (I've only been to two universities, so that should make things a little simpler.)
Anyway, as you might've noticed from my previous post(s), I am a Christian. I believe in having a good and strong relationship with God, and in turn, I believe in creationism. There are a lot of people that don't, and that's fine to not agree with my beliefs, but that's how the world goes round. Don't take offence to my opinions and beliefs; if you do, click away.
I think I'm one of the more reformed creationists though. Like, a lot of Christians think that it's just the seven days of creation, and that's it, there's nothing else to add on or take away from what it says in the first book of the Bible. I don't. I think that there are aspects of what science has discovered in the world, through the animals and the earth and so on, and aspects of creationism that go hand in hand. This is what I learned from my Earth Science class.
I also want to mention that I took an archaeology course in my second year at university, at the school I transferred to. This class made me not so on board with evolution, only because this class was all about human origins, and how we descended from monkeys; that was the premise, it seemed. The Earth Science class, however, made me see evolution from a different stand point, and it made more sense in my mind.
Here's what I think: I think that God created light and dark, and it was probably like that for millions of years. (I'd put in exact numbers and so on, except that it's already been a month since I last took the class; I forget easily, especially when it has to do with school.) Then the sun and planets were formed. Of course, science gets all science-y and says that gravity attracted particles from space, causing a compaction of all these particles which became a gas. And then the rest of the particles formed the planets in our solar system. Then this is when God became creative and started focusing on Earth and its inhabitants.
Now, I'm not going to go into the entirety of the creation story, since that would make this post even longer than it has already become. But I don't think that God took seven, what we consider now, days. To God, time doesn't matter...One day could be a thousand years, and a thousand years could be a day, and so on. He's our creator, and he can take all the time he wants. For this reason, Earth and the solar system is a lot older than Christians might come to believe. It's not just seven days. It's a lot of time. Billions and billions of years.
Love.
Monday 7 January 2013
Scared
Saturday night, my parents got into a heated argument. I was in the shower when it started, and my sister was in her room, trying to sleep. The argument turned into a fight, yells, screams, until I heard a bunch of thuds in succession. This is when my sister ran out of her room, crying, yelling at my dad to stop. I don't know what happened, and my mom and my dad are telling different stories about what happened, and I'm afraid to ask my sister. I think my dad was hitting my mom. I got out of the shower, wrapped a towel around myself, and went to see. My sister was standing in between my dad and my mom. Our parents kept saying to go back to her room, but she wouldn't leave. I think she was scared something bad was going to happen. I was too.
My mom and my dad come from dysfunctional families. So it makes sense that ours is also dysfunctional. Who's family isn't? But because my parents came from exceptionally dysfunctional families, our family is also exceptionally dysfunctional. Maybe one day I'll go into the history of us, but for right now, I'll give you a little bit of a look inside my parents head. My mom is an extrovert, highly argumentative, and outspoken. My dad is an introvert, mostly soft spoken, and kind. I love them both. When situations arise, usually when emotions are high, my mom is the one that does most of the talking; my dad is the one that listens and takes it all in, without saying a word. This is when it becomes dangerous.
Dad is the kind of person who bottles his emotions, until one day, *KABOOM* he explodes. This often results in a hole in the wall, covered by a picture of a mirror, but this time, he took it out on the object giving him the most pain, Mom.
Of course, my parents' arguments don't end when their children come out to play. They continue, in front of them. Before my dad started running up and down the stairs to figure out what he was going to do, he flipped one of our tables over. Glass shattered, made a tinkling sound; my mom's cell phone was in pieces (although I was told later that my dad had taken it earlier and threw it); and I realized after I got dressed after I finished my shower that my laptop was on the same table. I was just too in shock to think about it until after it was all said and done, and I got to calm down just a bit.
My sister and my mom were getting out of the house, my dad was running around, trying to fix what he had done while still fuming from his rage, and I was sitting near the wreckage of the table, making sure my laptop wasn't damaged. (Thankfully, it wasn't, and it's what I'm using now to type this up.) I was trying to get my dad to calm down and talk to me. He wouldn't. He just kept walking around in a fast pace. That's when a family friend ran up the stairs and walked in, asking me where my dad was. I pointed to the kitchen, and that's when I broke down and went to my room.
My dad ended up going to the family friend's house with the family friend, and the friend's wife stayed at home with my mom to talk. Later, the women went to the men, and my sister and I don't know what happened there. We stayed in my room, with the dog, until 2 AM, crying, talking. My eyes were so swollen the next morning, and my cough and fever weren't doing too well either (I was, and still am, sick).
I'm going to skip the next day. Well, most of it: Dad and I stayed home, Mom and my sister were out for most of the day. And then Mom, Dad, and my sister stayed away from each other when we were all home.
Now we're to today. Dad went to work, he's back now. Faith went to the city mall with her friends for the day, and she still isn't back...Mom and I stayed home. We didn't talk about Saturday. She did show me her bruises though, which aren't too bad, although it sounded like it hurt a lot.
My parents are talking about Saturday, and their marriage, right now. Civilized, for now. They weren't earlier. My mom has wanted to go to counselling for the longest time; my dad has always resisted. He doesn't like strangers knowing about his private life. Then again, his friends don't know about his family life either. But, about an hour ago, my dad agreed to it; my mom just has to set an appointment, which I'm hoping she does. I find that they both back out of the most serious of things; something they have in common but won't admit to.
I want them to work it out. What child doesn't?
I've been debating whether I should post this up or not, while writing this entire thing. I feel like people who eventually read this won't like it, and will probably advise me to call the police the next time it happens or something. The thing is this is the first time my dad has ever hit any one of us. But I'm scared it's going to happen again. Even though my dad isn't a violent person, he does get angry, sees red, doesn't know what he's doing until after he's done it. And he's not apologetic. I love him so much, and I don't want to lose him, but I don't want anything bad to happen to the rest of my family either. This is such a difficult situation. I don't like pretending everything's normal when it's not, and I don't know what to do without completely offending my parents.
I hope counselling works.
I start school tomorrow; I missed today because of my cold. Hopefully I'll feel better. About everything.
Love.
My mom and my dad come from dysfunctional families. So it makes sense that ours is also dysfunctional. Who's family isn't? But because my parents came from exceptionally dysfunctional families, our family is also exceptionally dysfunctional. Maybe one day I'll go into the history of us, but for right now, I'll give you a little bit of a look inside my parents head. My mom is an extrovert, highly argumentative, and outspoken. My dad is an introvert, mostly soft spoken, and kind. I love them both. When situations arise, usually when emotions are high, my mom is the one that does most of the talking; my dad is the one that listens and takes it all in, without saying a word. This is when it becomes dangerous.
Dad is the kind of person who bottles his emotions, until one day, *KABOOM* he explodes. This often results in a hole in the wall, covered by a picture of a mirror, but this time, he took it out on the object giving him the most pain, Mom.
Of course, my parents' arguments don't end when their children come out to play. They continue, in front of them. Before my dad started running up and down the stairs to figure out what he was going to do, he flipped one of our tables over. Glass shattered, made a tinkling sound; my mom's cell phone was in pieces (although I was told later that my dad had taken it earlier and threw it); and I realized after I got dressed after I finished my shower that my laptop was on the same table. I was just too in shock to think about it until after it was all said and done, and I got to calm down just a bit.
My sister and my mom were getting out of the house, my dad was running around, trying to fix what he had done while still fuming from his rage, and I was sitting near the wreckage of the table, making sure my laptop wasn't damaged. (Thankfully, it wasn't, and it's what I'm using now to type this up.) I was trying to get my dad to calm down and talk to me. He wouldn't. He just kept walking around in a fast pace. That's when a family friend ran up the stairs and walked in, asking me where my dad was. I pointed to the kitchen, and that's when I broke down and went to my room.
My dad ended up going to the family friend's house with the family friend, and the friend's wife stayed at home with my mom to talk. Later, the women went to the men, and my sister and I don't know what happened there. We stayed in my room, with the dog, until 2 AM, crying, talking. My eyes were so swollen the next morning, and my cough and fever weren't doing too well either (I was, and still am, sick).
I'm going to skip the next day. Well, most of it: Dad and I stayed home, Mom and my sister were out for most of the day. And then Mom, Dad, and my sister stayed away from each other when we were all home.
Now we're to today. Dad went to work, he's back now. Faith went to the city mall with her friends for the day, and she still isn't back...Mom and I stayed home. We didn't talk about Saturday. She did show me her bruises though, which aren't too bad, although it sounded like it hurt a lot.
My parents are talking about Saturday, and their marriage, right now. Civilized, for now. They weren't earlier. My mom has wanted to go to counselling for the longest time; my dad has always resisted. He doesn't like strangers knowing about his private life. Then again, his friends don't know about his family life either. But, about an hour ago, my dad agreed to it; my mom just has to set an appointment, which I'm hoping she does. I find that they both back out of the most serious of things; something they have in common but won't admit to.
I want them to work it out. What child doesn't?
I've been debating whether I should post this up or not, while writing this entire thing. I feel like people who eventually read this won't like it, and will probably advise me to call the police the next time it happens or something. The thing is this is the first time my dad has ever hit any one of us. But I'm scared it's going to happen again. Even though my dad isn't a violent person, he does get angry, sees red, doesn't know what he's doing until after he's done it. And he's not apologetic. I love him so much, and I don't want to lose him, but I don't want anything bad to happen to the rest of my family either. This is such a difficult situation. I don't like pretending everything's normal when it's not, and I don't know what to do without completely offending my parents.
I hope counselling works.
I start school tomorrow; I missed today because of my cold. Hopefully I'll feel better. About everything.
Love.
Thursday 3 January 2013
Happy New Year!
Well, it's a new year, which means resolutions!...Or in my case, no resolutions.
I know every January 1st, you're supposed to make goals for yourself, that you can possibly accomplish. And every year, I eventually forget and don't accomplish them. So, this year, I'm not going to set any goals for myself, and we'll see how that goes.
2013 has been ok so far...I guess. I had my first sleepless night on the 1st, and haven't been sleeping well since. Then I got a sore throat/started coughing on the 2nd. It's the 3rd today, and I'm still coughing, trying to keep warm and so on. I'm trying to keep positive, but it's hard.
Anyway, next week will be the start of school, and I'm looking forward to and dreading the day. Tomorrow, I will be buying a couple of textbooks...a 3 hour commute just to buy two books. Wonderful. I'm still looking into buying the rest of books from people online, but they have to get back to me.
That's all for now. Super short blog post, since I'm kinda tired and should be going to bed soon.
I hope all of you have a wonderful year.
Love.
I know every January 1st, you're supposed to make goals for yourself, that you can possibly accomplish. And every year, I eventually forget and don't accomplish them. So, this year, I'm not going to set any goals for myself, and we'll see how that goes.
2013 has been ok so far...I guess. I had my first sleepless night on the 1st, and haven't been sleeping well since. Then I got a sore throat/started coughing on the 2nd. It's the 3rd today, and I'm still coughing, trying to keep warm and so on. I'm trying to keep positive, but it's hard.
Anyway, next week will be the start of school, and I'm looking forward to and dreading the day. Tomorrow, I will be buying a couple of textbooks...a 3 hour commute just to buy two books. Wonderful. I'm still looking into buying the rest of books from people online, but they have to get back to me.
That's all for now. Super short blog post, since I'm kinda tired and should be going to bed soon.
I hope all of you have a wonderful year.
Love.
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