You will not exist.
I thought you would once.
Tonight, I picked up my sister from work. Because we currently live in two different countries with me visiting her at the moment, I'm unable to use my cellphone, so on this particular drive, I didn't bring mine with me (plus I needed it to regain battery). I got to her workplace and saw that the place was completely dark and no one was standing outside the establishment. I went to the back of the building to see if she was standing there or waiting inside a co-worker's car, but no one was there. I made a couple rounds of the block, waited for a minute, then decided to come back home because she could have gotten a ride from said co-worker. I come home to discover that she is not home, so I call her using her home phone line and she says she's standing outside the building. To my annoyance, I have to hop back into the car and drive back to where I just was.
As I was lying down, playing Candy Crush before going to bed, I realized I don't like being responsible for people. I don't like that other people have this power over me to be worried about them. I love my sister but I still don't like that she has this ability to make me feel annoyed without feeling annoyed and guilty herself. I don't like that I'm mad to the point of crying while she's just contentedly going about her night. I don't like that I have to cater to her every whim because she is the youngest or because she feels entitled to ask for things and bother people.
Maybe that's why I don't like asking other people for things, to do things with me, to hang out, to have a meal together, to buy something for me. I don't like depending on other people and I don't like that other people have to depend on me.
That's probably why I like being alone so much and would rather be alone. Whoever said we need other people was right, but I'm good with just texting, messaging, or emailing. Hell, even regular mail would be great.
So, to the kids I had planned for and already picked the names out for, I hope you find a better time with someone else. Because it won't be with me.