I just had a full fledged panic attack.
How do I even deal with these emotions right now...
My sister moved not even an hour ago to go live in my parents' place in Washington State and my mom is driving her down. My mom will be staying in the US for the weekend and coming back up either Sunday or Monday but most likely Monday since it's a holiday. I'm going to be alone this weekend. I've been alone before for the same amount of time but this time is different, I can't figure out why but it is and I'm scared. Currently texting a friend to hang out because I don't think I can be by myself for the next three days.
Work has been shit too so that's probably not helping me with what's going on right now. I really don't like my job but I'm in a situation where I can't back out until I know where I'm going next in my life.
I want someone to just be there for me. You know how you tell someone about what's going on in your life and he/she just says, "It'll be fine, it'll get better" etc etc? Yeah, no, fuck that person. I know it'll be fine and that it'll get better, that this is just a giant ass bump in the road and I have to go over it because that's the way roads work: you go over the bumps and the potholes, you don't put on the brakes because of them. Just sit with me in my current misery and empathize for two seconds because I'm going through a horrible time that you can't even imagine because you might not experience anxiety the way I do.
Anyone else need to vent? I'm here.