I had an urge to just pack a bag and leave town. It's kind of becoming a thing but my anxiety kicks in every time and I just stay put. I have a job, and saving money is important to me right now. My last day at work is going to be in August though...Things are going down within management and I don't want to stick around long enough to find out what happens/to see all the work I put into my job go to shit.
Anyway, my sister wants to go to LA in August too though, and my friends and I have been planning a day/weekend trip to a hot springs in August as well, so might as well make as much money as I can now before taking off and doing those things. I have another friend who is going to Korea in September and I kinda want to tag along, if she'll welcome me.
I get so torn doing trips though: I like having money in my bank account, but it's supposed to be spent and good times are supposed to be made with the earnings. It just sucks because after I quit my job, I won't have anything to come back to and my savings will dwindle down until I'm desperate.
Money is such a fickle thing. I hate it but I love it; it's dangerous. Get greedy and it will never be enough; be frivolous and spend it all and then you have nothing to live on. Such a dilemma.
Monday 20 June 2016
Thursday 2 June 2016
Mother
...I was going to write this whole blog post about how I hate my mom, like actually, truly hate her, but I'm over it.
Huh. That was fun.
How are you guys doing?
I'm okay, considering what's been going on in my life. I'm not even sure how to explain how I'm feeling because it's a lot. Would I even remember to come back to this blog to reminisce? I guess I should try: my dad gave me a very heated lecture a few days before he moved to the house my parents bought in the States, about how I'm not doing anything with my life and how I'm sucking the life out of my parents. That I'm at an age where I should be living on my own. After that, I started paying rent and buying my own groceries, stubbornly not eating any of the food my mom bought. Things were getting less awkward but that was stupidity because we were basically just ignoring the fact that we even had an "argument." Work is getting a little hectic because my store manager and the manager in training quit, and our district manager isn't doing anything to calm us all down; today was the MIT's last day at work. Otherwise, I like my job. These days, I'm finding less and less to do though because everything looks good. My sister moved back in with us yesterday (it was a surprise to me since no one told me) and it's weird having her around again. Then today, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to Costco with her and I said yes. By the time we got down to the car though, she told me to go back up to the apartment because she didn't want me to come with her. I scoffed at her and asked why did she even ask me to go. She responded that she didn't expect me to say yes.
Anyway, I'm gonna go back to just making food for myself and ignoring the world because that's the kind of mood I'm in. I even thought if my mom died today, I'd be okay with it. Hell, if I died today, I'd be okay with that too. Maybe that'd be better for everyone. But I'm a coward, so someone else would have to kill me...It's sick that I hope every day that someone crashes their car into mine or that a drive-by shooting happens when I walk to and from work.
Huh. That was fun.
How are you guys doing?
I'm okay, considering what's been going on in my life. I'm not even sure how to explain how I'm feeling because it's a lot. Would I even remember to come back to this blog to reminisce? I guess I should try: my dad gave me a very heated lecture a few days before he moved to the house my parents bought in the States, about how I'm not doing anything with my life and how I'm sucking the life out of my parents. That I'm at an age where I should be living on my own. After that, I started paying rent and buying my own groceries, stubbornly not eating any of the food my mom bought. Things were getting less awkward but that was stupidity because we were basically just ignoring the fact that we even had an "argument." Work is getting a little hectic because my store manager and the manager in training quit, and our district manager isn't doing anything to calm us all down; today was the MIT's last day at work. Otherwise, I like my job. These days, I'm finding less and less to do though because everything looks good. My sister moved back in with us yesterday (it was a surprise to me since no one told me) and it's weird having her around again. Then today, my mom asked me if I wanted to go to Costco with her and I said yes. By the time we got down to the car though, she told me to go back up to the apartment because she didn't want me to come with her. I scoffed at her and asked why did she even ask me to go. She responded that she didn't expect me to say yes.
Anyway, I'm gonna go back to just making food for myself and ignoring the world because that's the kind of mood I'm in. I even thought if my mom died today, I'd be okay with it. Hell, if I died today, I'd be okay with that too. Maybe that'd be better for everyone. But I'm a coward, so someone else would have to kill me...It's sick that I hope every day that someone crashes their car into mine or that a drive-by shooting happens when I walk to and from work.
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